Phrases I don’t understand

“I would appreciate it …” as in “Hey, this is Justin. If you could give me a call back, I’d appreciate it.”

OK, I get it. I know what you’re trying to say, but taken literally — ie you should call me back because I would appreciate it — it comes across as inherently selfish.

Why should I care if you’d appreciate it? What’s in it for me? What do I get out of your appreciation?

Nothing. Bubka. That’s what.

That’s why I don’t understand why people use this phrase.

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